Jun 17, 2012 5:42am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

Lady to the doctor over the phone.
“Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present, and I can’t get into it.”
Doctor: Just come over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescription. Then you will soon be able to wear your wonderful new dress."
Lady: Who said anything about a dress? I am talking of car.
Gastric Sleeve Surgery

 
Jun 19, 2012 2:56am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

Father:“Thanks a lot doctor for saving my sons life.
Doctor:”It’s God who has saved your life.
after sometime.
Doctor:“My fee??”
Father:“’ll send it to God through money order”!!

Gastric Sleeve Medicare

 
Jun 21, 2012 1:05am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

PATIENT:-DOCTOR I AM FEELING SEVER ITCHING,GIVE ME A MEDICINE PLEASE.
DOCTOR:-TAKE THIS SLIP TO THE MEDICAL SHOP
PATIENT:-IF I USE THIS MEDICINE,I CAN SOLVE THIS ITCHING.
DOCTOR:-I GAVE THIS FOR GROWING YOUR NAILS FOR SCRATCHING.

Gastric Sleeve Medicare

 
Jun 22, 2012 8:24am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

Doctor: Your husband needs a proper rest. Here are some sleeping tablets.
Woman: When will he have these?
Doctor: It’s for you, not for him.

Gastric Sleeve Plication

 
Jun 25, 2012 10:01am

syed2011 syed2011
46 posts

Doctor: Your husband needs a proper rest. Here are some sleeping tablets.
Woman: When will he have these?
Doctor: It’s for you, not for him.

Its simple Awesome ! Never heard of it before

 
Jun 26, 2012 1:30am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor. “You have to help me, I hurt all over”, said the woman. “What do you mean, all over?” asked the doctor, “be a little more specific.” The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe, “Ow, even THAT hurts”, she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, “You have a broken finger.”

Gastric Sleeve Plication

 
Jun 28, 2012 5:42am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

Doctor: From the look of your eyes, it appears as if you are suffering from cataract and also jaundice.
Patient: You are looking at my glass eye. Please look in to the other one.

Medicare Gastric Sleeve

 
Jul 2, 2012 9:08am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead. “Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?” asks the doctor. “Oh, no,” replies the nurse, “I gave him eight tablets every two hours!” At the next bed the next patient also appears half dead. “Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?” “Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour,” replies the nurse. Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life. “Nurse,” asks the doctor, “did you prick his boil?” “OH MY GOODNESS!” replies the nurse.

Medicare Gastric Sleeve

 
Jul 9, 2012 2:57am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

Patient: You couldn’t treat my malaria disease, don’t I have cancer?
Doctor: No, why do you think that?
Patient: Another doctor treated my friend as a malaria patient, but he died on cancer.
Doctor: Relax, I don’t do much mistakes. If I treat anyone as a malaria patient, he always dies due to malaria.

 
Jul 10, 2012 5:54am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

Nurse: Why are you sad today doctor?
Doctor: The patient I operated today afternoon died.
Nurse: Doctor, you didnt operate the patient today afternoon. You did a post mortem.
Doctor: Then who was the guy on whom I did a post mortem today morning?

 
Jul 11, 2012 3:47pm

jim123 jim123
66 posts

One day, Harry went to see his doctor and told him that he hadn’t been feeling at all well. The doctor examined Harry, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills.

Looking at Harry he says, ‘Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another large glass of water.’

Startled to be put taking much medicine, the man stammered, ‘L………..L…….L………Lummee, Doc, exactly what is my problem?’

The doctor replied, ‘Harry, you’re not drinking enough water.’
-——————————
Affordable Weight Loss Surgery

 
Jul 17, 2012 5:19am

syed2011 syed2011
46 posts

Teacher : Can Sunrises during night, ?
Student : Yes., Because of night darkness we cannot see sun.

 
Jul 31, 2012 1:51am

jim123 jim123
66 posts

Good One Sayed.

TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile”?
JOHN : “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

 
Sep 25, 2012 1:19am

davidmartin414 davidmartin414
27 posts

ha ha ha ha………….

 
Nov 1, 2012 6:53am

shanewatson384 shanewatson384
4 posts

Really nice jokes………….

 
Nov 29, 2012 1:09am

cooperherbert cooperherbert
2 posts

that’s funny~

 
Mar 29, 2013 3:07pm

merw merw
19 posts

wow, i love these! going to use them over dinner tonight!
_________________________________________________
yoga : http://www.squidoo.com/what-are-the-best-mens-w…

 
Apr 5, 2013 1:53am

nicholas026 nicholas026
3 posts

My joke is like this :

Man went to gasoline

Gasoline boy : Sir Welcome

man: thank

Gasoline boy : gas sir

man : no softdrink please ,ob course gas

Gasoline boy : check the tire sir?

Man : Did i went here without a tire

LOL why some people are like that.haha

 
Apr 6, 2013 4:10am

chase56 chase56
4 posts

Healthy jokes to read. Interesting

 
Jun 30, 2013 9:32pm

kabirshilpakar kabirshilpakar
8 posts

once upon a time there was an old lady,
who died in her childhood. :D

 
Aug 26, 2013 4:51pm

venassa81runner venassa81runner
44 posts

Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common?

A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

 
Aug 26, 2013 4:53pm

venassa81runner venassa81runner
44 posts

Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together.

One man says, “I’m a salesman. What about you?”

“I’m a hit man for the mob,” replies the second man.

He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives.

Nervously, the first man replies, “In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding.”

“You got a silver compact and a red pickup?”

“The compact is my wife’s car, but that’s my buddy Jeff’s truck.”

The hit man looks through the scope again. “Well, they’re going at it like teenagers in your bedroom.”

“I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls.”

The hit man says, “I get paid $5,000 per shot.”

“I don’t care! Just do it!”

The hit man takes careful aim and says, “This is your lucky day. You’re going to get a two for one!”


Login to Reply