icequeen_ah's Fitness Profile

icequeen_ah's Journal

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  Back....bigger than ever, but trying again

  So the last two months have been incredibly stressful. My husband and I have agreed to work on our marriage, and at least we're becoming friends again. Not much in the other dept but one step at a time. My car died, so we had to borrow out of his 401k to get a car -- so I'll have my first new car in 10 yrs by Mother's Day!!! I've been having lots of lupus flares so I've basically been on steroids the whole time - hence the weight gain. That, and I started drinking again. Just too stressed, and feeling trapped with the little one w/o a car esp. He's a total handful. Oh, also moving in a month to another apt, so I was apt hunting up until 2 wks ago. Now I've got the stress of a HUGE family reunion July 17th. People who last they saw me, I weighed all of 110-115 lbs when I was dancing. It's going to be humiliating. So at least I thought that'd be a good time frame to see what I could do. Hubby got the P90X thing, so even though I don't think I'm ready for the heavy impact stuff, I can follow along some basics plus the diet plan. This time I won't have him sabotaging me. We start that Monday. Thanks for the ear, and hope all my friends have been doing well here.

  Posted over 2 years ago by icequeen_ah

  
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  You're on my mind

  When you are ready, I'll be here to give you encouragement. Please take care of yourself and trust that you will make the right decisions for YOU, and that you will be successful in carrying out those decisions. Don't be down on yourself for stress eating...we develop that as a coping mechanism because it works and that is what you need to get through that moment. Find someone to trust and talk to.

  Posted over 2 years ago by SmilnRunr

  
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  Dealing with major depression issues again...

  I haven't been on for a while, least not consistently. I've hit a really bad BAD time right now...just so very depressed...and I simply can't handle life right now. Valentine's was more depressing than normal I suppose, and no signs that my husband and I will ever share more than a brother/sister or good friends relationship. I'm crying constantly. I also had to increase my anti-seizure meds again, so now I'm up to 20 pills a day. Yesterday all I ate was 2 bowls of chocolate ice cream and coffee in the morning. I had a small dinner but taking all my pills made me puke. I don't know when I'll be on again...

  Posted over 2 years ago by icequeen_ah

  
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  Going the wrong way...

  Well, I finally got that "time of the month" thing. Was wondering why all of a sudden I was literally trying to eat everything I could find. I found out mom's coming for sure, got stressed out, and reverted back to my old habits. Plus, the little one's been acting up so I haven't been able to work out...OMG I feel disgusting right now! Oh, yeah, add to that between work and the baby, I'm only sleeping about 3-5 hrs a night again, getting up at around 1-2, forgetting my water...ugh Just have to get back on it I guess.

  Posted over 2 years ago by icequeen_ah

  
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  Wish I was there to give you a hug.

  It sucks to do all of this work and not see or feel validation or praise. You are doing it. And yes, you are stuck in your body for the rest of your life (this is a good thing), you are also working your ass off to make that body healthier, happier, and in general feel good. Ignore Mom, kick Husband in the shins and know that the new, lighter, and way cooler you can skip away laughing at stuck-in-the-rut people before they can even react.

  Posted over 2 years ago by SmilnRunr